Love of two families has meant the world to adoptee Julie Krasienko

For Julie Krasienko, second from the right, the whole concept of family has changed since she was reunited with her birth family at age 60. She is pictured here with six of her eight surviving siblings. From left, Jan Duchemin, Judy Delph, Deb Pollard, Nancy Doty, Mary Cummings, Krasienko and Jim Duchemin. (Submitted photo)

(Editor’s note: On Aug. 18, two women will be honored with the Courageous Heart Award from St. Elizabeth/Coleman Pregnancy and Adoption Services, one of six agencies of the Secretariat for Catholic Charities. The awards to Julie Krasienko and Laura Williamson will be made during the agency’s 21st Annual Elizabella Ball. Here is the story of Julie Krasienko.)

By John Shaughnessy

The woman’s voice on the phone stopped Julie Krasienko cold, making her heart pound in anticipation and fear.

Krasienko knew that what the woman would say in the next few moments would either devastate her or open her to a world she longed to embrace.

As she heard the woman’s voice, part of Krasienko wished she had never made an effort to contact the woman. In the same instant, another part of her wondered why she had waited until shortly after her 60th birthday to make the contact.

Listening to the woman’s voice, Krasienko couldn’t believe it had been 60 years since she had been adopted as a 10-day-old infant by an older couple in Frankfort, Ind. Helen Kern was 42 at the time, her husband, Fleet, 43. They had endured the heartbreak of losing children during pregnancy so they turned to adoption to create the family they desperately wanted.

Krasienko still recalls how her mother constantly read her The Chosen Baby as a small child, a book that showed the special love between a child and the parents who adopted her. She also remembers the idyllic childhood she had as her parents’ only child, a childhood filled with Sunday drives, wonderful vacations and every opportunity she wanted to pursue.

“I still have the piano that my parents bought for me when I was 6,” says Krasienko, who will receive the Courageous Heart Award from St. Elizabeth/Coleman Pregnancy and Adoption Services on Aug. 18.

So she never felt she missed out on the love and the generosity that can bind parents and children. She had even lavished those gifts on her two children and her five grandchildren. Still, she kept wondering about the woman who had given her up for adoption. And she still remembered that her adoptive mother had mentioned that her biological mother had at least one other child.

So shortly after her 60th birthday—more than 15 years after her parents had died—she began the search for her biological family with the help of Katrina Carlisle, the adoption counselor and search specialist for St. Elizabeth/Coleman, an agency that is part of Catholic Charities Indianapolis.

The search revealed several intriguing and heartbreaking pieces of information. Her biological mother, who wasn’t married when she gave birth to Krasienko, was dead. So was an older brother. But there were also five sisters and three brothers who were alive.

“I couldn’t believe there were so many,” says Krasienko, now an Indianapolis resident.

There was at least one major potential problem: Her eight siblings had no knowledge of Krasienko. She wasn’t sure how they would view her or receive her when they learned about her.

Her fears and her doubts intensified when she found herself on the phone for the first time with one of her siblings—her sister, Mary.

“My heart was pounding,” Krasienko recalls. “We talked for quite a while about a lot of things. She said, ‘We’re a big family, and there’s room for one more.’ That’s what they did. They wrapped me in their heart.”

She met her siblings for the first time in June of 2006.

“It was incredible,” she says. “My knees were knocking. I shook hands because I was so nervous. I told them that if I hugged them, I’d cry through the whole thing. I did cry on the way home. I felt part of the family.”

Carlisle has noticed the difference that Krasienko’s two families have made in her life.

“She praises her adoptive parents and their love for her,” Carlisle says. “Now she’s found this huge family that has embraced her. That’s going to be important to her the rest of her life.”

Krasienko celebrated her first Thanksgiving and Christmas with her extended birth family last year. She celebrates her new family connection every day.

“I’m so grateful to both my mothers and fathers,” Krasienko says. “My biological mother gave me life. My parents gave me a good life. My life has always been wonderful, but it’s even more now.” †