Hope and healing: Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat offers abortion reconciliation

By Mary Ann Wyand

Abortion.

Just seeing the word in print, recognizing the letters, can reawaken painful memories for a woman who has experienced abortion.

But she may not realize that she is grieving about the death of her baby or struggling with guilt, anger and depression caused by her decision to end her pregnancy.

Research shows that men are also emotionally affected by abortion, perhaps grieving differently than women but nevertheless feeling sadness for many years.

Servants of the Gospel of Life Sister Diane Carollo, director of the archdiocesan Office for Pro-Life Ministry, encourages women and men harmed by abortion to seek spiritual help from the Church in order to begin the long process of post-abortion healing.

Sister Diane hopes these women and men who are hurting will register for the third Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat sponsored by the archdiocese on the weekend of June 29 through July 1 at a confidential location.

“Every exercise, Scripture and ritual that is provided on the retreat helps participants dialogue with Jesus,” Sister Diane explained. “The process followed on the retreat helps the participants deal with their grief, guilt, regret, fear, anger and depression.”

All telephone inquiries and retreat presentations are confidential, she said. Participants focus on the spiritual, emotional and psychological aspects of their abortion experience, which helps them deal with and heal from the pain of the unique circumstances leading to their baby’s death.

“Post-abortive women and men on the retreat mourn the loss of their children and identify with the Lord in his agony and death experience,” Sister Diane said. “But death is never the final word for Christians.

“The retreat brings participants to share in the paschal mystery that is never complete without the Resurrection,” she explained. “As participants mourn the loss of their aborted children, they come to realize that they are not lost, but are embraced by Christ, who conquered sin and death.”

It’s easier for some women and men to talk about abortion than it is for others, Sister Diane said, and it takes courage to revisit their abortion experience—even in the safety of the Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat with priests and Rachel’s Companion counselors trained in abortion reconciliation.

Father James Wozniak from the Diocese of Gary will lead the retreat with assistance from Father Robert Robeson, rector of the Bishop Simon Bruté College Seminary at Marian College in Indianapolis, who is in training as a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat facilitator, and three volunteer therapists.

“Women and men affected by abortion are suffering greatly, while at the same time trying to avoid the issue altogether,” a woman who has experienced abortion explained in a confidential e-mail note to The Criterion.

With her permission, her anonymous testimonial was printed in the June and July issue of News Notes published by the Office for Pro-Life Ministry.

“I skimmed through my weekly Criterion newspaper as usual,” she wrote. “At the time, I felt I was being called to seek some more spiritual development for myself as I knew from personal experience about God’s astounding works and merely wanted to continue to be closer to him.”

She scanned the headlines and noticed an article about a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat.

“I wondered, ‘Who could Rachel be?’ ” she explained. “As I read the first paragraph, I became distraught and bewildered. There it was in my face, in black and white: ‘Women and men who are suffering emotional, psychological and spiritual pain because of past abortions are invited to seek healing and reconciliation with God during the first archdiocesan Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat. …’ ”

When she had returned to her Catholic faith, she said, “I was very careful to hide my secret sin from everyone.”

The article made her heart sink to “the pit of her stomach,” she said, as she thought about how many years she had denied her abortion experience.

“I finally decided to reach out and register for the retreat,” she said. “The living Scripture exercises during the retreat guided me back to the day when I learned I was pregnant at 21.

“ … A single college student, I was thoroughly terrified at how my father would react if he learned the news,” she said, “and at the time I believed I only had one choice. I knew if I took care of it quickly and silently and had an abortion, nobody would ever find out and all would be well. I was so wrong.”

Since her abortion, she said, she has struggled with “depression, addictions, fear that the wrong person would find out and self-abuse, all the while avoiding the reality of the one sin for which I could never be forgiven, despite my numerous confessions. …”

Thankfully, she said, the Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat led her to God’s loving and merciful grace.

“The living Scripture exercises helped me know and feel Jesus and the grace of his mercy and love,” she said, “and realize that this actually was a forgivable sin. The Holy Spirit worked through me and the other post-abortive men and women to allow the healing of our souls. … Most importantly, I learned that it is not only possible but absolutely crucial that I forgive myself as he commands.”

And she has learned that, “Each of us has our own stories, situations and sins—some of us worse than others. Despite any of our sins, we are all God’s children and he loves each of us tenderly and lovingly.”

(For more information about the Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat next weekend, call Servants of the Gospel of Life Sister Diane Carollo at 317-236-1521. All calls are confidential.) †